It is not unusual for me to be in on a Friday night these days especially with the economy the way it is. There are some weekends I feel that I should spend more days out and about meeting new people rather than trying to save money. Although, if you have suggestions for free things I won’t pass it up;)
This is not why I’m writing this entry though. Lately, I’ve felt an odd and peculiar desire to become a parent and to be married. I know it is not uncommon for my age, yet I feel that it is a weird thing for me to feel right now.
I am completely unattached to anyone at the moment and for the most part I enjoy it. I do give into the fact that I still live with my ‘rents which comes at a huge disadvantage on several levels, but I’m slowly but surely progressing from out of this situation. The days I don’t enjoy being single are the days I feel like I should either have more single girl friends or have a “Fun Buddy”. Yes, I’m aware that in the past I have resent the idea of a “Fun Buddy” but there are times I just want to lie in someone’s arm and feel safe.
The desire to become a parent comes at a complete surprise to me because my brother recently became a parent and not really planning to created a heavy disadvantage for him. You never really realize how extravagantly you have been living your life until you have a child and know that you have to think about other things. Granted that my brother became a parent and a husband in one fail swoop, it still doesn’t take away from the reality of the situation. I know that I shouldn’t want a child now since I have no means of taking care of it and would have no idea what to do . It still doesn’t put the idea too far out of my mind.
Things change in the blink of an eye, right? So things could be different for me in a matter of months, days, or years. When I tell my friends I have been having good luck coming my way, they always without fail begin with the phrase “does that mean there is a wedding in the near future?” I laugh and considering I haven’t seriously dated anyone in a while can’t possibly pictured getting married.
These odd and peculiar desires still remain.